


Goodbye Nantucket

by AnonymousVow



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Cracky, Gen, Humor, RPF kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 21:05:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1525697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousVow/pseuds/AnonymousVow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short, jokey micro-fill for kinkmeme. Prompt: "What happens if someone pulls out one of the nations' ahoges?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye Nantucket

So America's got Nantucket, right? And him and Obama are totally BFFMF (Best Friends Forever, Motherfucker) so the Commander in Chief would be completely comfortable getting all up in his Nation's personal space, arms around America's shoulders, playing fetch with Bo, pushing the girls on the special playset that America hewed out of raw logs for them. (With his teeth). 

They's tight, bros. 

So one day Obama notices that curly piece of hair sticking out of Alfred's head. He knows America needs a little help in appearing respectable to the other Nations, that He Who Shall Not Be Named had led America astray and let the boy form bad habits like declaring war on nebulous concepts, and dressing sloppily. So he's been in the habit of giving America little hints, little nudges, fixing America's tie and gently suggesting that a formal dinner party requires a dinner jacket, not a bomber jacket. And messy hair?

Why, he doesn't think twice about yanking that bad boy out of there.

America screams and drops to the ground. People in the know (they are few) know that a stroke or a gentle pull of Nantucket has the same effect as a stroke or a gentle pull further down.

So, it logically follows, pulling Nantucket out leads to feeling a similar effect.

An unmanned-feeling America stays in bed, clutching at his head and whimpering. He does not feel up to yelling at Iran, which most people would have thought he would, which leads to that country calling the UK the worst instead. Also, the people in Nantucket are slightly confused by a sudden spate of separatist emotions sweeping the region.

**Author's Note:**

> Cracky as hell. That bit about Iran was based on some then-current-events (this was written in 2009) 
> 
> ""The diplomats who have talked to us with courtesy up to now have in the past few days taken the masks away from their faces and are showing their true image," Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatullah Ali Khamenei, said in a speech on June 19 2009. "And the most evil of them is the British government."
> 
> (Also, keep in mind that current Iran-US relations can be traced, at least in part, back to UK-based initiatives, where they convinced the US to overthrow the Iranian government then in power to get back at Iran for the loss of British oil revenues when Iran nationalized the Iranian oil industry.)


End file.
